


It's not Lovin' if It's Just Fuckin'

by GeesCLUELESSgirl, momiji_neyuki



Series: Writing With Killjoys:My Clueless!Gee [34]
Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, The Used
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Awkward Crush, Bad Decisions, Best Friends, Blow Jobs, Body Dysphoria, Bullying, Casual Sex, Consensual Underage Sex, Danger, Developing Relationship, Diet Pills, Drugs, Eating Disorders, F/M, Fights, Foreshadowing, Gifts, Hooking up, Hospitalization, M/M, New Friends, No Commitment, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Pining, Rimming, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Uncomfortable Moments, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Love, Vacation, begging for forgiveness, eventual forgiveness, uneasiness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-02-10 14:49:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12914175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeesCLUELESSgirl/pseuds/GeesCLUELESSgirl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/momiji_neyuki/pseuds/momiji_neyuki
Summary: Frank stopped and looked down at his best friend."I love you Gee, you know that right?"Gerard swallowed, his smile slipping a little. He nodded."Yeah, I know."Just not the way Gerard wanted him to."Good..."Frank leaned down and kissed him on the cheek.





	1. Unrequited

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> So my lovely Clueless!Gee and I are working on two brand new fics since we have two ending/ended. Both are original ideas too! This first one is hers and I really like it! ^-^
> 
> Gerard and Frank have been best friends for ever, but they are different as night and day. While Gerard is innocent...for a high school kid, Frank is anything but. At 17 Gerard still hasn't had his first kiss, while at 17 Frank has fucked and been fucked by boys, girls, teachers...you name it. How do a fuck boy and a shy nerdy kid get along? A love for video games and baked goods of course! ^0^
> 
> The real question is though...will Frank catch a clue about how Gerard really feels before it is too late? @~@
> 
> Please enjoy guys. 
> 
> Fic title taken from No Shows ~ Gerard Way

Gerard Way, a sweet, slightly nerdy 17 year old with shoulder length black hair and slightly too pale skin, was sat on the bleachers with his sketch pad in his lap. His pencil scratched urgently over the paper as he tried to get the image in front of him to form. His subject, as always, was his best friend since kindergarten, Frank Iero. Gerard would never admit that he wanted Frank and him to be much more than friends, but there it was, his love for the other boy drawn quickly, over and over in Gerard’s book...just the latest of many such books. Gerard could practically draw Frank with his eyes closed now, but no one would ever see the pictures...they weren’t good enough, and Gerard could never let Frank know how he felt anyway.

Looking up at the soccer team doing their practice, or rather at _Frank_ practicing, Gerard sighed heavily. Frank wasn’t so much practicing right now as he was flirting with...the coach. It wasn’t the first time Gerard had seen Frank flirt with someone, it wasn’t even the first time he’d seen him flirt with a _teacher_ , but what was worse, was that the teacher was apparently into it. Again, not the first time. 

Gerard was well aware of how many students, _and teachers_ Frank had bedded, because Frank had a habit of telling him everything...and he wasn’t even vaguely discreet about his hook ups. Gerard frowned and looked back at his drawing. He frowned more, annoyed at himself for letting his fantasies spill out on the paper...the image was one that would NEVER HAPPEN!! He tore the image of him and Frank entwined in a warm embrace out of his book and screwed up the paper before stuffing it in his backpack...that’s enough daydreaming of the impossible for today. He closed his book and tucked it neatly into his bag and zipped the bag shut...just as the coach blew his whistle, ending the after school practice.

Gerard looked up, just as the coach slipped a piece of paper into Frank’s hand and winked at him. Gerard looked away, he didn’t need to see that. He stayed where he was cause he knew that Frank would come over when he was finished changing, and Gerard wasn’t about to follow him into the locker room like a creep.

Sure enough Frank shouted across the field.

"Hey Gee, be out in a minute!"

Gerard looked over with a smile.

"I’ll be h..."

But Frank was already disappearing into the locker room and probably didn’t hear him.

"...here."

Gerard sighed, Frank was probably in there getting off with one of his team mates already...again, wouldn’t be the first time. Leaning back on his seat, Gerard closed his eyes and daydreamed...cause even though it hurt, it was the closest thing he could get to being with Frank.

*

*

*

Frank came out of the locker room after a very quick mutual handjob and saw his best friend dozing on the lower bleachers. He chuckled as he made his way over to him. He leaned in close and whispered into his ear.

"Wake up sleeping beauty..."

Gerard heard Frank calling to him and he smiled, moaning softly in his sleepy state. Frank chuckled again and leaned in even closer to his ear.

"Well I guess I need to give my sleeping beauty a kiss to wake him up."

"Pleeeease."

Gerard whined in his sleep. Frank smiled and placed both hands on either side of Gerard, boxing him in. He leaned in and pressed his lips to his softly. Gerard felt warm, soft lips against his. He smiled into the kiss, a small moan escaping between them. 

"Open your eyes beautiful."

Gerard frowned slightly as he felt himself pulled out of his dream. Slowly, he opened his eyes...and was met with Frank's. OH FUCK!...please don’t let me have drooled, or worse still... _moaned_?

"Err...hi?"

He said quietly, yawning and using the moment to wipe at his chin...just in case.

"Hey Gee, have a nice nap?"

Frank hadn't moved yet to let him up.

"Soooo what were you dreaming about...or who? Some good looking hot stud?"

Frank wiggled his eyebrows at Gerard. Gerard froze for a moment, then frowned, pushing his hands hard against Frank’s chest.

"None of your business..."

He stood up, grabbing his bag and turning away.

"Let’s just go if you’re finished with..."

He waved his hand in the general direction of the locker room door.

"...whoever."

Frank frowned. Gerard had never acted like that before.

"Come on Gee, I was only kidding..."

Frank's voice was coming out as a whine. He hated to upset his best friend.

"Please don't be mad at me?"

His eyes were lidded and scared like a puppy's who had been scolded. Gerard sighed, rolling his eyes. He turned back to Frank, slapping on a tired smile.

"I'm not mad Frank, just kinda pissed that you woke me up just as it was getting good..."

He winked.

"Come on, we gotta go or my mom's gonna skin us...you know how worried she gets if we're late."

If Frank was a sad puppy before he was now a hyper excited one. He leaped down from the bleachers and as soon as Gerard touched ground, he scooped him up. Gerard shrieked, grabbing onto Frank's hoodie for dear life.

"FRANK! Put me the fuck down you ass!"

He squealed, though he was laughing a second later. 

"Come on princess, your royal steed will get you home in no time."

Gerard giggled.

"My royal steed?!...giddy up then pony."

He could moan about being called 'princess', but he was in Frank's arms, so what did he really have to complain about? Frank ran across the parking lot to his car and somehow managed to get the door open and place Gerard on the seat gently. Gerard giggled.

"You know I _can_ walk...I'm actually quite good at it..."

He put his bag down by his feet then looked back up and smiled softly.

"But thank you Frankie."

Frank smiled and knew that Gerard had forgiven his silly behavior once again.

"Anytime Gee, anytime."

He shut the door and then got in on his side and drove them to Gerard's house to hang out for the afternoon.

*

*

*

"You gotta come Frank, the whole team is going!"

"Yeah, but you guys all have dates and I just don't do that."

"Don't let that stop you."

Gerard watched the exchange from his usual place on the bleachers...it wasn’t that he particularly wanted to go to some stupid party where everyone would be getting drunk and making out with each other, but he kinda wished they would at least ask him to join. But they were Frank’s friends and Gerard was just his hanger-on...they wouldn’t ask. He wanted Frank to say no and just go round his like every other Friday night, but he couldn’t say that...he didn’t want to come off as a clingy bitch. 

"There’s gonna be booze, weed and lots of people looking to get fucked."

A boy that Gerard thought was called Alfie, or maybe Alex, said with a wink, nudging Frank’s shoulder knowingly. Gerard sighed...so much for their Friday movie night. 

"I'll think about it. I kind of have plans."

Frank looked over at Gerard and smiled. Gerard smiled back slightly, then looked back down at his sketch book...he didn’t want it to seem like he was eavesdropping.

"Cancel them man...this thing’s gonna be _awesome_!..."

Alfie/Alex cheered loudly, punching at Frank’s arm.

"What could be more important than getting drunk, high and laid?!"

Gerard wished with all his heart that Frank would say him, but he knew that wouldn’t happen. 

"An early birthday party."

"Who’s?...all of us are going to Josh's bash...don’t tell us it’s a family thing."

Alfie/Alex raised a challenging eyebrow at Frank. 

"Family friend."

Frank knew that Alex would never understand something like that since he never had a real best friend. Gerard wanted to be somewhere else...anywhere else.

"Shit dude, blow it off...not like it’s your mom!"

"Look, if it gets over early I may come by, but sorry man I can't just not go. It's not like there won't be a party next weekend, I can just go to that one."

"True, but Josh said Tom's gonna be there and we _all_ know you been trying to bang him forever. Come on, he’s only going cause Josh told him you’d be there."

Alex wasn't lying. Frank had been trying to get to Tom for a while now and this would be the perfect opportunity.

"Ah man...look, let me see what I can do alright?"

"You won’t regret it...I heard Tom sucks dick like a vacuum cleaner."

Alfie/Alex winked with a smirk and now Gerard _really_ didn’t want to be there. To avoid listening to whatever was said next, he shoved his sketchbook back in his bag and got up, making his way quickly off of the bleachers and heading toward the locker room, head down so he didn’t meet anyone’s eye. 

Frank turned around, but Gerard was gone. He shrugged, he would talk to him later.

*

*

*

"How was school son?"

Don was doing dishes and preparing dinner when Gerard arrived home and Donna was working a double shift at the hospital. Gerard shrugged off his bag and slumped onto one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

"Fine."

He mumbled, eyes on his hands in his lap. Don watched as his oldest pulled out his book to start homework. He wished that both his boys had it easy, but Michael was the one born with the gift of high intelligence, which was why he was at a boarding school for gifted children, part on scholarship and part on the family's finances. Michael was still working on Grants though to help releave the burden on the family. Sometimes Don didn't know which son had it better.

"So watcha got for homework today?"

"Math and social studies."

Gerard said flatly, not looking up as he stared at the equation in front of him...that he had no idea how to do. 

"Need some help? I have a bit of time before I have to baste the roast."

Don put the towel down after turning off the water. He sat across from his son. Gerard nodded, not looking up. He knew if he looked up then his dad would want to know what was wrong and even though Don was 100% supportive of Gerard, and even though he and Gerard’s mom were the only two people who knew how in love Gerard was with Frank, he still didn’t want to talk about it right now.

"Sure. I don’t know any of this. I think they did it when I was at the doctor last week."

He pushed the work sheet over to his dad. 

"Ah, well let's see if we can work this out together shall we?"

"Ok."

Gerard shuffled round to the seat next to his dad and looked at the paper...the numbers and letters didn’t make much sense to him. He hated algebra. For the next hour Gerard and Don worked through his homework, only stopping so Don could baste the roast. When the timer went off for dinner, they were done and Don could tell that Gerard understood the work now.

"Will you set the table for me son?"

"Sure dad. I’ll just put my stuff away."

He put his homework into his bag and zipped it up, then stood and headed up to his bedroom. Right then all he wanted to do was lay down and sleep, to put today and Frank’s teammates out of his mind...but he couldn’t. Putting his bag on his bed, Gerard sighed, then headed back downstairs. He walked into the kitchen and set about laying the table.

"Will mom be home for dinner, or is it just us?"

He asked quietly. 

"It's just us champ, sorry, but she has a double shift..."

Don brought the pan with the roast in it surrounded by fresh spring vegetables. He sat at one end of the table with Gerard next to him. He carved a piece of roast off and placed it on Gerard's plate. He let him get his own vegetables. They settled in to eat.

"So did you decide what you want for your birthday yet?"

Gerard shrugged, chewing on a piece of carrot. He swallowed, then sighed.

"I don’t know. I’m not really feeling it, y' know?"

"I had hoped that Michael would be able to come down for it this year, but he is testing to see if he can skip the next grade..."

Don didn't think that was a good enough excuse. Honestly, he wished the brothers were closer, but between the intelligence and the three year difference, there was not much hope. Gerard sighed.

"That would’ve been nice, but his grades are more important than my birthday. I’ll Skype him in the evening, maybe." 

He stabbed a piece of potato and put it into his mouth. He hoped his dad didn’t hear the disappointment in his voice, he’d tried hard to hide it. 

"Gerard...please don't be mad at him."

"I’m not dad. Sorry, I’m just tired..."

He pushed his plate away, the food barely touched.

"I think I’m gonna have an early night. I’ll do the dishes in the morning, Ok?"

He stood up from the table, still not looking up. 

*Knock Knock Knock*

"Hold that thought Gerard."

Don got up to answer the door.

"Hello Mr. Way."

"Well hello Frank."

Gerard was always happy to see Frank, of fucking course he was, but right now he wasn’t sure he could hold a normal conversation with him without crying, or blurting out something incredibly embarrassing and possibly damaging to their friendship. He took a few deep breaths, then slapped on a happy smile as his dad and Frank walked into the kitchen.

"Hey Frankie. What’s up?" 

"Hey Gee, you disappeared after school so I figured I would pop over and say hi. Am I interrupting dinner?

"No no son, we just finished, come on in."

Gerard knew he wasn’t getting his early night now.

"Frank, help me with the dishes?"

"No no no, you two go hangout in your room Gee, I'll take care of the dishes. Frank you are in luck, I have brownies ready to go in tonight."

"I look forward to them Mr. Way, thank you."

"Yeah, thanks dad..." 

Gerard headed toward the stairs, not looking either his dad or Frank in the eye.

"How was practice?"

He asked absently as they reached the first floor and walked toward his bedroom. Gerard yelped as Frank moved fast pulling him into his room. He pushed him on the bed and straddled his legs.

"Now, tell me what's wrong Gee."

"Frank get off me."

Gerard said, urgently trying to push Frank off before he could alert Gerard's cock to the situation. 

"Not till you tell me what's wrong."

Frank leaned over and pinned his wrists down. Gerard struggled to break free, his breath getting faster and his eyes starting to water.

"Nothing to tell, just _get off_ me."

"Gee...I know you. I know when you are upset about something. You can't hide from me. Best friends remember?"

Gerard stilled...yeah, _'friends'_.

"I...I heard you talking about a party Friday..."

He couldn't meet Frank's eyes. 

"You...you should go. You've wanted to...get with Tom for ages. You should go."

He said quietly, eyes down. He didn't want Frank to go to the party, but he had no right to stop him. He wasn't entirely sure why he was encouraging him though. 

"Oh..."

Monday was Gerard's birthday and Frank promised he would stay over all weekend.

"It's just Friday night Gee. I'll come over after the party and we can pick up where we left off on Saturday. Is that cool?"

Gerard nodded, a smile slipping onto his lips.

"Yeah ok, that's cool. I'll make cookies while you're...getting laid."

"You better not, I like making cookies with you."

Frank cracked a small smile and eased up a bit on Gerard's wrists. Gerard kinda missed the tight restriction. He mentally facepalmed at the thought and prayed his cock wouldn’t react...though he could feel it twitching in interest. He hoped Frank didn’t feel it.

"Fine, I’ll just watch a movie then...better?"

"Not Star Wars right?"

"Course not, I wouldn’t watch it without you..."

Gerard giggled.

"I’ll probably watch some chic flick...Beaches or something."

"No, cause I need to sing to you!..."

Frank started to warble an off key rendition of Wind Beneath My Wings to Gerard, holding his hand like a microphone and being fully dramatic. 

"I can flyyyyy higher than an eeeeeagle, cause you are the wiiiiiind beneath my wiiiiiiings!"

Gerard laughed, rolling his eyes.

"Ok Ok!...I’ll watch something else just...stop singing."

Frank stopped and looked down at his best friend.

"I love you Gee, you know that right?"

Gerard swallowed, his smile slipping a little. He nodded.

"Yeah, I know."

Just not the way Gerard wanted him to. 

"Good..."

Frank leaned down and kissed him on the cheek.

"Come on, let's go play Mario Cart till the brownies are ready."

Gerard smiled weakly and nodded as Frank got up off of him.

"Sure, just give me a minute. Can you set it up please?"

He got quickly up from his bed and headed to the bathroom, not waiting for an answer. Once inside, he locked the door and moved over to look in the mirror above the sink. He stared himself in the eye.

"Pull yourself together you dick. It’s Frank!...you’ve been best friends since forever, so don’t do something dumb like expressing your Goddamn feelings in front of him now. Don’t ruin the one good thing you’ve got..."

He sighed heavily, dropping his own gaze.

"It’s not like he’d ever want you anyway."

He felt tears threatening and fought to regain control of himself. The door flew open surprising Gerard as Frank ran in.

"Sorry Gee, I suddenly had to piss and it was not gonna wait..."

Frank ripped his pants open and took out his limp cock just as the first drops came out.

"Fuuuuuuck."

Frank was taking one of those pisses that feels like cumming. Gerard’s eyes widened before he forced them away. 

"Uh yeah um ok um..."

He stuttered then quickly left the room, returning to his bedroom and begging his cock to stop hardening.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck."

He muttered, urgently trying to erase the image of Frank’s cock from his mind...it really wasn’t working. Hearing the flush, Gerard jumped onto his bed and lay down on his belly, groaning as he squashed his bits slightly. Now he just had to stay like this til his hard-on went down...it was going to be a loooooong night. 

*

*

*

Frank was drunk. Frank was stoned. Frank was currently getting a blow job from Tom at Alex's party.

"Fuck baby, do that again with your tongue."

Tom pressed his tongue flat against the underside of Frank’s cock as he moved up to the head before digging his tongue into the slit...he really enjoyed sucking cock. 

"If you keep going baby, I'm gonna blow my load and we can't fuck."

Tom took Frank to the back of his throat one more time, then pulled off with a wet pop, saliva dribbling obscenely down his chin. He didn't wipe it away.

"Come on then Frankie boy..."

He said in his strong London accent, smirking up at the other boy.

"Come fuck me while the night's still young."

Frank watched the naked boy get up from his knees and settle on the bed a few feet away. He spread his legs provocatively and gave Frank that come hither stare. Frank shucked his jeans the rest of the way off and then his shirt. 

"Baby, I am going to ruin you for anyone else."

"Promises promises."

Tom smirked, fisting his cock slowly. Frank leaned over and licked a stripe up the boy's cock.

"One you can take to the bank, now face down and show me that beautiful ass of yours."

Tom caught his breath, then wriggled over onto his belly and shuffled up onto his knees, pushing his ass up into the air while keeping his chest on the mattress and his face in the pillows. He turned his head a little so he could see Frank and wiggled his ass at him.

"Y' mean like this?"

He smirked. 

"Yeah baby, just like that."

Frank looked at the boy like he was a piece of meat...cause he was and Frank was gonna consume him. He crawled up on the bed pushing his face into the boy's ass. Tom moaned loudly, fisting the sheets and arching into the delicious feeling. Somehow he’d known that Frank would be good at this. Frank pulled back and smacked the boy's ass. It was firm in his hand as he gripped it.

"Fucking taste so good baby, can't wait to get my cock inside you."

"Then don't wait. Hurry up and fuck me Frank."

Frank smacked his ass again.

"Ah ah ah, who's in control here baby. me or you?..."

Frank grabbed the lube and squirted it on his fingers.

"I think for that I'm just gonna make you wait longer."

He pressed his slick fingers against the opening and just traced around it with light pressure, but not pressing in. Tom groaned, burying his face in the pillows for a few seconds before looking back over his shoulder at Frank.

"Yeah, you're in charge...but I thought you wanted to get y' dick wet, not y' fingers."

"You just don't know when to shut up do you?...and since you don't know, I guess I'll control what comes out of your mouth."

Frank shoved a finger inside the boy hard.

Tom squealed, then moaned loudly and decided that now was a good time to stop talking and enjoy himself instead. Frank was pleased that the boy finally shut up. He teased him a little more, adding another two fingers easily. But honestly, watching his fingers move in and out of the boy, opening him up, it made his cock ache. He pulled his fingers out and slipped the condom on. He used the rest of the lube on himself and spreading the boy's ass cheek wide, placed his cock to the opening and pressed in. Tom groaned...'about fucking time', he thought...though he was too busy pushing back and making basic animal noises to say it out loud. Frank was in the zone now. This is what he did best. He reached over and smashed the boy's face into the mattress as he dug his other hand into his soft flesh, fucking him hard. Tom hadn't been fucked this good since he moved to the States with his mom a year ago. He absolutely loved it and was very vocal about that fact...vocal and loud. He didn't care if everyone within a mile radius could hear him.

"OH FUCK YES! FUCK ME HARDER...MAKE ME YOUR BITCH!"

Frank grabbed a fist full of the boy's hair and yanked it up.

"Yeah, that what you want, you wanna be my bitch? You want me to just take you anytime anywhere?"

"Yes!...GOD yes!"

Frank pulled him all the way up and wrapped an arm around his waist. He started to do short quick jabs to his prostate, but not enough to really hit it. He whispered into Tom's ear hotly.

"How would you like if I just walked into one of your classes in front of everyone and bent you over the desk and just took you. Show everyone what a whore you are."

"Please. Please I want that."

Tom couldn't think straight...not that he was anything close to straight anyway...he barely even knew what he was saying.

"Yeah, and you would take it too. Be such a good bitch for me."

Frank pulled Tom's head back and sucked hard on his neck, now delibriately slamming into the boy's prostate. Tom screamed out, his eyes rolling back as he shuddered with each heavy thrust. He really wasn’t going to last like this, and he didn’t even think he’d need to be touched to get there. 

"Yeah, fuck yeah, so tight baby, so fucking tight."

Frank was really getting into the fucking now, but he was getting tired and losing his high. He doubled his efforts to make himself cum. 

"Gonna...*uhh*...gonna...*ahh*...*uhh*...CUUUUUM!!"

Tom yelled loud enough that he was sure they could hear him back in London, and came harder than he’d come in his life. Frank was enjoying the feeling of Tom's orgasm as it pulsated around his cock, setting him on the edge of too much. Tom fucked himself back onto Frank’s cock until he was empty and shuddering from oversensitivity. Frank shoved the boy back down and after fucking him a few more times, pulled out, pulled off the condom and finished cumming all over his back. When he was done, he tied the condom and chucked it...somewhere.

"You look good covered in my cum baby."

"I..."

Tom panted a little.

"I _always_ look good sugar."

He looked back and winked. 

"I'm sure you do baby, but I have to get going."

That was the way it was for Frank. Fuck them and leave them. Tom pouted.

"Aww...but I was planning on letting you fuck my mouth and cum all over me. Won’t you stay?...I got more weed?...really good stuff too..."

He fluttered his lashes at Frank, turning onto his side and propping his head on one hand while reaching out to trace patterns on Frank’s sweat slick skin with the other.

"Please?"

Frank looked at the boy and then at the clock on the night stand. It was only nine. Still pretty early. He could go another round and then make it back to Gerard's.

"Alright, but let's smoke up first."

Tom grinned wide.

"I was hoping you’d say yes..."

He turned over to grab his pants up from the floor. He dug into the pocket and pulled out his stash, waving it in the air triumphantly.

"Ta da!...let’s get stupid, shall we?"

He winked and they settled in to have some more fun.

*

*

*

Gerard's eyes had been fluttering for a while now, his concentration on some old movie waning as he drifted toward sleep. He thought Frank would’ve been here by now, but maybe he’d just gotten held up. Gerard yawned and let his eyes close...he was sure Frank would be there soon, he wouldn’t let him down.


	2. Unforgivable...Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Best Fucking Friends..."
> 
> He whispered, running his fingertip over the engraved letters and seriously considering just throwing it away.
> 
> "You bastard."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Everyone!
> 
> Well almost. my lovely Clueless!Gee _***GeesCLUELESSgirl***_ and I wanted to give you all a wonderful present, how does two chapters sound? Make sure you read this one first!
> 
> MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!
> 
> Please enjoy guys.

_***Time Stamp: Middle of May***_

Gerard sighed as he trudged to class...alone. He was always alone now...always going to school alone, always eating alone, always going home...alone. Well, that’s not _entirely_ true; Frank was there, just like he always had been... _when he’s not off fucking someone else!_ …but Gerard had been ignoring him, and all his attempted apologies for never showing up to his birthday like he’d promised to do.

Gerard had his earbuds in, as the internationally recognised sign that he didn’t want to talk, and he would much rather you just went away...but Frank was a stubborn little shit that apparently couldn’t take a hint. Gerard still loved Frank of course...it would be so much easier if he didn’t...but he did.

Entering their Art classroom, Gerard headed to their usual table near the back. This was one of the few classes they shared, and as such it _had_ been Gerard’s favourite...now though...

He sat down heavily and pulled out his earbuds, as Mr. Chomsky didn’t allow them in his class. He felt Frank sit down next to him, and now he knew there was no escape...he would have to listen to Frank trying to beg his forgiveness for the WHOLE FUCKING LESSON!

He pulled out the piece he’d been working on, and tried to block out what Frank had to say. It was practically impossible. 

"And they have the best caramel mocha dirink and you can get it iced or hot and I have a coupon for buy one get one free, so let's go after school, okay Gee?"

Gerard sighed, rolling his eyes.

"I’m busy after school."

He muttered, eyes fixed on his attempt at a hyper-realistic drawing of an elephant. If he didn’t get an A+ for this, he was going to be pissed. 

"Come on Gee, we haven't hung out in weeks. Can't you spare a few minutes for your best friend of ten years?"

Gerard’s pencil paused and he lifted it slightly off of the paper.

"Best friends?..."

He turned his head.

"Best friends remember each other's birthdays Frank. They don’t forget so they can fuck some British twink at a party."

He looked back down at his paper. His hand was trembling. 

"Gee, come on. I said I was sorry about that. I just got so fucked up and I couldn't remember, you understand right? I mean I still gave you that amazing gift didn't I? I know you wanted that for years!"

"I sold it."

Gerard _lied_ through gritted teeth, his eyes still on the paper and starting to water a little...he would never sell something Frank had given him.

"You..."

Frank look devastated.

"What the fuck Gerard?! Why would you do something fucked up like that? Don't you know how long I saved up to get it?!"

"Mr. Iero."

Frank didn't even hear the teacher. He shoved what he was working on off the table and force turned Gerard to face him, gripping his arms tightly.

"Tell me why!"

Gerard gasped, wide eyed and a little scared.

"I didn’t!...I...I wouldn’t."

He never wanted to see that look in Frank’s eyes again. 

"Mr. Iero, that is quite enough! Principal's office now!"

Frank shoved Gerard back hard and then threw the project he was working on across the room. He grabbed his bag and stormed out of the room.

"Gerard are you alright?"

Gerard sobbed slightly, his breath hitching. He squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds and took a couple deep breaths, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth...then opened them again and nodded.

"Yes sir, I’m ok."

"Do you need a moment. Perhaps to use the bathroom?"

Gerard took another breath and looked down...his hands were full on shaking now.

"Uh, yeah...thank you s-sir."

"You may take your books since class is almost over and...you may have extended time for your project since Mr. Iero...interfered."

Frank had knocked the drawing into a paint can, tipping it and causing black to drip down over it. Gerard sniffed, looking at his ruined piece.

"Thank you sir."

He said quietly. He shoved his pencils into his bag and stood up, leaving the destroyed picture where it was...and walked out, heading straight to the nearest bathroom. Pushing into the room, he felt tears start to stream down his face. He went into the last stall and shut the door, sobbing as he slid his back down the wall til he was sat on the floor with his knees to his chest and his face buried in his arms. There, he cried. 

*

*

*

"Gerard, dinner's ready."

Gerard looked up from his desk to see his dad in the doorway of his room.

"I’m not that hungry dad. Can I have it later?"

"You feeling alright buddy?"

Don came in and felt his son's forehead, hidden under his black bangs. Gerard turned his face away, frowning slightly.

"Yeah dad, I’m fine..."

He looked back up and shrugged.

"I just wanna get some more of this done before I stop for a break..."

He nodded to his drawing...that he’d had to start again completely from scratch.

"Ok?"

"Alright, I'll wrap the plate up, and we have your favorite dessert too."

Don kissed his head and then left with another shoulder squeeze. Gerard’s stomach protested, but he didn’t want to think of food right now. He went back to his picture, glad that his dad hadn’t noticed that he’d started it again...he didn’t want to have to explain. 

*

*

*

"Hey Gerard, someone left something on your desk."

The girl with the ponytail who’s name Gerard didn't remember, pointed to his desk in homeroom which now contained a small wrapped box. Gerard frowned as he walked over to his desk and picked the box up. He turned it over in his hands, but there was nothing written on it except his name. He looked back at the girl.

"Did you see who left it?"

He asked curiously. 

"Nope, it was here when I got here and Mr. Hanover wasn't even in the room."

Gerard sighed, nodding.

"Ok, thanks..."

He sat down at his desk and stared at the box as if he thought he could guess what was inside. Of course he couldn’t, so after a minute or two, he picked it back up and started to pull off the paper. Inside the box was half of a charm on a necklace with a note. Gerard looked at the half heart, trying to decider what it said. It was clearly the second half of three words, but his brain seemed to be set on slow right now.

"...ST, ...KING, ...ENDS...what the Hell?"

He picked up the note. 

_Hey Gee,_

_So I fucked up, I mean I really fucked up, but I wasn't joking, you are my Best Fucking Friend and even if you sold the kit I bought you, I am sure you had a good reason. Take as long as you want to forgive me, I deserve that, but please wear this so I know that we still have something?_

_Love Frankie.xxx_

Gerard read the note three times, then looked at the half charm.

"Best Fucking Friends..."

He whispered, running his fingertip over the engraved letters and seriously considering just throwing it away.

"You bastard."

He sighed after a minute, fiddling with the tiny clasp and fixing the chain around his neck...he never _could_ stay mad at Frank for long. He tucked the charm inside the top of his shirt and put the box and note into his bag...he’d make Frank sweat a little bit more before he let him know things could be ok. 

Class started and he got on with his work.

*

*

*

The bell rang for lunch and Gerard joined everyone in the rush to get out of the room. The hallway was packed with teenagers hurrying to get to the cafeteria, cause it was Friday and that meant pizza...for the lucky 50 or so who got there first anyway. Gerard joined the flow and was making good progress until someone stuck their foot out and he was sent sprawling to the floor amidst a sea of legs and laughter. He cried out as someone stood on his hand, but eventually he was back on his feet. 

Head hung low and his arms wrapped around himself, he made his way to the cafeteria and got in line. All that was there now were some questionable looking sandwiches, or some mystery meat and soggy fries. Sighing, he chose a sandwich and a juice box, paid, then headed to the table he and Frank had claimed as their own on their very first day of school. Frank wasn’t there yet, so Gerard sat down and stared forlornly at his rather unappetising looking meal. 

"Don't you think this is better for lunch?..."

Frank held out a plate with the coveted pizza on it.

"Or would you rather this instead?"

He brought his other hand from behind his back and held out a box from Gerard's favourite sushi restaurant. Gerard blinked up at him silently for a moment, blank faced. Both options looked better than what he had, but he wasn't quite ready to admit that yet.

"I'm good..."

He looked down at his pitiful meal again. He could almost feel the sadness coming from Frank...and it hurt him. He looked up again as he pushed the sandwich away.

"Second thoughts."

He gave Frank a small smile as he nodded toward the sushi box. Frank smiled and placed the box in front of Gerard and then sat the pizza down. As he moved to get in the seat, his half of the necklace swung forward. The shiny gold caught the light and Gerard frowned slightly, looking down. He went to open the little sushi box to distract himself, forgetting the shoe print bruise forming on the back of his hand. 

"What happened to your hand Gee?..."

Frank took it before Gerard could pull it back. He looked at it and growled.

"Harmon. I recognise that pathetic pattern anywhere."

Ronald Harmon was one of the richest kids in the school. He was popular and also an ass. Gerard wrenched his hand back, shoving it under the table and between his knees. 

"It’s nothing..."

He frowned, staring at his lap.

"Just an accident."

"I'll bet."

Frank started to look around the room for him. Gerard looked up.

"Just leave it Frank. It doesn’t matter."

Then Frank heard it. That laugh. He turned and saw Ronald push some kid into the garbage can. Frank was out of his seat and going towards him before Gerard could even blink.

"FRANK NO!"

Gerard shouted. But apparently Frank wasn’t listening. Gerard sighed heavily and stood up. He left the sushi, the pizza and his crappy sandwich on the table...and walked silently out of the cafeteria. He couldn’t deal with this right now and what little appetite he’d had...was now gone. 

*

*

*

"Man you should have seen him."

"I know, I never saw Harmon so pissed!"

"Yeah, but he deserved it."

"True, but who thought that short kid had it in him?"

"Harmon went home, but I think the punk is still in the nurse's office."

Gerard’s eyes widened as he surreptitiously listened in on the other boys' conversation. Frank got hurt?...for _him_?! Swallowing heavily, he stood up from his table and walked over to the teacher's desk, clearing his throat as he reached it.

"Um, Mr. Connors?"

"Yes Gerard?"

Gerard shuffled his feet, wrapping an arm around his middle nervously. Mr. Conners was not his biggest fan.

"Can I...go to the nurse please?...I’m feeling really sick."

The teacher began to roll his eyes when one of the other students stood up.

"I kind of saw what he was stuck with for lunch and that sandwich didn't look so good."

"Fine, go."

Gerard gave a pained half smile before mouthing 'thank you' to the kid who helped him...then grabbed his things quickly from his desk and left the room. He headed to the nurse's room and paused outside. Taking a breath, he carefully pulled the half charm out to sit over the top of his shirt, then knocked on the door and waited. 

Frank was in pain, but it was worth it. His mom was going to ground him for life though. Still if it meant Gerard forgave him it was even more worth it. He didn't realise how angry his best friend really was still.

"Frank, someone to see you."

Gerard peered into the little side room and saw Frank laying on a cot with his shirt open, holding an ice pack against a large purplish mark on his ribs. There was also a bruise around his right eye and a cut on his lower lip.

"Oh my God Frank, why did you do that?..."

He said with a frown, hurrying to Frank’s bedside and gingerly touching the bruised boy's cheek.

"I _told you_ I was ok!"

"That's why I did it. Cause you always say it's fine when it isn't..."

Frank gave a smile that cracked his lip more. He winced a little.

"I wanted you to know you could count on me."

Gerard took a deep breath in, then let it out slowly.

"Frank, I don't need you to beat people up for me...I just need to know that if you say you'll be somewhere...then you'll actually _be_ there..."

He brought one hand up to absently play with the chain around his neck.

"You get it?"

"I do and I will. I promise I won't let you down again Gee."

Gerard sighed heavily, a soft smile spreading on his lips...he really couldn't stay mad at Frank. 

"Fine. You better not, mister."

He fake scolded him, but couldn't keep a straight face and after a moment, burst into quiet giggles. Frank didn't care how much pain he was in, he reached up and pulled Gerard into a hug. It had been too long since he heard his best friend laugh. Gerard hesitated for a moment, tensing up...then relaxed with a sigh, holding onto Frank as tight as he could. He really missed this.

"This weekend, we are gonna watch movies, and have pizza, and stay up till forever cuase it's been too long since we have done that...well that is if i am not grounded for life."

Gerard pulled back to smile fondly at Frank.

"I’ll explain to your mom if she grounds you. I’ll tell her you were protecting me."

"She likes you better then me anyway."

The nurse watched the two boys interact and it made her smile. She saw that spark that she saw many times between two would be partners, worried about each other in here. She knew there was something special there, they just had to realise it too.


	3. A Way With Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank stopped feeling up Gerard and turned to the other boy.
> 
> "Hey I know you."
> 
> "You do?"
> 
> "Yeah we fucked once."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> Stop reading right now! You may have missed the last chapter! This is part of a special Christmas present from my Clueless!Gee _***GeesCLUELESSgirl***_ and I! We uploaded two chapters back to back so go check the previous chapter before you start reading this one!
> 
> Pleas enjoy guys.

"Look at you Gerard, growing up so fast."

"And out."

"Hush now Marcia."

"What, I am just concerned for the boy. He wants to find a nice girl and settle down."

"Yeah, then he can get the gut from all that good cooking she will do."

"Donna you feed the boy too well. He should be skinner like Michael."

"Now there is a handsome looking lad and not even in his teens yet."

"I agree, slow down on the bread and pasta and have him eat more salads."

"Marcia he's not a girl you know."

"I know but that will help him slim down."

"He does have curves like a girl though."

"What do they call them...child bearing hips?"

"Oh stop it you two, you're going to give the boy a complex about eating."

"Nah, that only happens to girls."

Donna came out of the kitchen.

"Alright everyone, dinner."

All the aunts and uncles got up and headed to the dining room. Henry walked up to Gerard and pinched Gerard's side

"I guess girlish figures don't matter as much as when I was a boy."

Gerard woke up with a gasp, sitting up so fast his head spun. He groaned slightly, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment til he regained his equilibrium, then opened his eyes and sighed...it was the third time this week that he’d been woken up by that awful memory...and it was only Thursday. Running a shaky hand through his messy bed hair, he swung his legs out of bed and stood up. According to the glowing red numbers on his alarm clock, it was just after 4 am, so as quietly as he could, he left his bedroom and went downstairs. He went to the kitchen and started the coffee machine, then sat down at the table...which is where he still was when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs nearly two hours later. He looked up with tired eyes.

"Morning dad."

He mumbled. 

"Morning champ, you're up early. Couldn't sleep?"

Don walked into the kitchen and filled his thermos with coffee. Gerard shrugged half heartedly, his hands wrapped around his third cup of black coffee of the morning.

"Not really."

"Well since we're both up, how about I make us breakfast?..."

Don started to get out a pan and then eggs and bacon from the fridge.

"You want cheese in your omlette?"

"Um...I already ate dad. Sorry."

Gerard hoped his stomach didn’t give him up as the liar he was, but right now he just couldn’t face food. 

"Oh, well more for me I guess."

Don made his breakfast and then sat across from his son as he quickly ate it. Gerard stared into his cup, his eyes feeling heavy. He just hoped he wouldn’t fall asleep in class. 

"You gonna be alright son, maybe you should stay home today..."

Don ruffled Gerard's hair affectionately.

"I worry about you. You look a little gaunt lately, are you sure you're eating enough? That can be part of the energy problem too, and can get you sick."

"I’m eating dad...you don’t need to worry. I’m just not sleeping too good, that’s all."

"Alright. Well I will see you tonight then. I'll bring Chinese home."

Don kissed Gerard's head and then was off. Gerard sighed...one more meal he’d have to pretend he was too full to eat. Groaning weakly, he pushed up to his feet and took his cup to the sink. He rinsed it out then left the kitchen, heading upstairs to get ready for school.

*

*

*

"Alright you guys, hit the showers!"

The kids headed out of the gym to the locker rooms. The guys were high fiving each other that were on the winning team for volley ball. The losers were grumbling. Gerard was hanging back and keeping to himself as he wasn’t a part of the winning team, and the losing team weren’t really accepting of him either. He had no friends in this class...not even a vague acquaintance. 

In the locker room the guys were getting undressed, hitting each other with towels and heading to the showers. Gerard dreaded the showers. If he could get away with not going in, he would...but unfortunately, gym was first lesson today and it was a hot day. Gerard _needed_ a shower. 

Reluctantly, he went to his little corner of the locker room and stripped off his sweaty gym kit. He grabbed his towel from his gym bag and wrapped it around his waist, then with a heavy sigh...knowing this was going to be bad...he headed to the showers. Towels snapped at his body trying to get him to drop his. The guys made sure the only free shower was in the middle of the room so they could all talk shit about him. Gerard chewed the inside of his lip in an attempt not to cry...it wasn’t really working. Once he was under the shower the tormenting continued, except now the towel whips were on wet skn so that left marks.

"Stop, please?"

He whimpered slightly, trying to hide in his dripping wet hair. 

"Alright, what's going on in here, it doesn't take this long to..."

The gym instructor stopped short seeing what was happening.

"You five, get dressed and go to the principal's office now...Gerard are you alright?"

Gerard took a couple deep breaths, then nodded shakily.

"Yes sir, 'm fine."

He kept his eyes on the floor and his hands protectively over his junk.

"Do you need to go to the nurse's office?"

"N-no sir."

"Well then finish up and get dressed. I'll give you an excuse for next period."

The teacher left the showers and started yelling in the locker room. Left alone, Gerard let the tears roll down his red cheeks. His hands shook as he washed his body...even after all the meals he'd been skipping, he was still just a fat lump. No wonder Frank couldn't see him as anything but a friend...he was disgusting!

Sobbing quietly, Gerard washed his hair, then grabbed his wet towel...yes, of course those boys had to soak it so he couldn't use it...and headed back into the locker room. He kept his eyes down and made his way over to his corner, where he was surprised to find a clean and dry towel waiting for him. He guessed the coach had put it there, but he wasn't sure.  
He started to dry himself off, uncomfortably aware that several pairs of eyes were watching him...he imagined with disgust. 

"Uh...Gerard is it? Hey, I'm Ray. Um...the guys that coach sent to the principal tried to hide your clothes, but I found them."

It was Ray Toro, captain of the volleyball team. He never picked on Gerard or anyone else and he was in the year book two years running as best captain and team player in the school. Gerard looked up through his stringy wet hair. The boy in front of him was tall, handsome and stood there in just his underwear with all the self confidence in the world. Plus, the boy was ripped...and hung. Gerard swallowed as he felt his face heat up...he hoped Ray didn't notice that he'd looked.

"Uh...th-thank you."

He stuttered out quietly, wishing he could sink into the ground right now. He gingerly reached out for the found clothes. He wanted to get dressed as quickly as possible...no one should have to see him naked. 

"Sure man, no problem and hey, I'll keep those guys off your back. No one deserves to be bullied..."

Ray smiled down at the boy. He wasn't a bad guy, just clearly pretty shy and maybe he had a little social anxiety.

"Hey, a bunch of us are getting together for a school is over party. Why don't you come and bring a friend. Don't worry, none of those jerks are going to be there. Just decent guys like me."

Gerard’s eyes widened, a smile starting to spread on his lips.

"What?...you want _me_ to come?!..."

Then he frowned, huffing slightly.

"Wait...that’s a joke, right?... _you’re_ making fun of me now?!"

"No no no!..."

Ray held up his hands defensively.

"No seriously, I would like you to come. Look here..."

He reached in his locker and pulled out his phone.

"I'll give you my phone number and text you the address."

Gerard blinked at him disbelievingly.

"Like...seriously?..."

He couldn’t believe that someone as nice as Ray Toro was actually inviting him, fat ugly Gerard Way, to a party.

"Can I bring my friend Frank?"

He had a vague memory that Frank had fucked Ray at some point last year, and he didn’t want things to be awkward.

"Sure, I said you could bring a friend..."

Ray smiled and held his phone out.

"You want to put your number in and I can call you?"

"Oh uh, sure."

Gerard accepted the brand new, top of the range cellphone he would never be able to afford, and typed in his number. He handed it back with a shy smile. 

"Great, now I'll call you."

Ray quickly hit send. Gerard heard his crappy standard ringtone coming from the bottom of his bag. He dug out his cell, that was nearly as old as he was, and saw the unknown number on the tiny cracked screen. He smiled and looked up at Ray.

"Thanks. I’ll save your number."

He hated that shitty phone, but now he had doubled the number of friends' numbers on it, so it was getting better at least. Ray tried not to be bothered by the old cell phone. In fact it gave him an idea.

"Hey, I have a phone that I was going to do that phones for cash thing with, but I would rather see someone who needs it get it. Would you like my old phone? All you have to do is switch your number to it. Call it a..."

Ray thought about it for a minute.

"...late birthday present."

He was pretty sure Gerard's birthday was in the spring. Gerard swallowed, looking down at the piece of shit in his hand. He wanted to say yes but...

"I’m not a ch-charity case."

He mumbled quietly. 

"No no no, I don't mean it like that!..."

Again Ray put up his hands in defense and shook his head back and forth, his curls loosly bouncing.

"It's not charity if it's a friend giving a gift to another friend, is it?"

Gerard looked up through his hair.

"I don’t know...I guess not..."

He sighed heavily.

"Thanks."

"Sure, I can have it for you at the party!..."

Ray was nodding and his hair was bouncing even more now.

"Cool, so we should get dressed now cause it's getting cold in here."

Ray held out his arms and showed the goosebumps. Gerard’s eyes widened as he realised that he’d just had a whole conversation with the tall, hot boy...COMPLETELY NAKED!?! 

"Oh God. Um err y-yeah."

He swallowed, his face turning bright red as he nodded and quickly scrambled to get into his clothes. Ray probably thought he was a total freak now...fan-fucking-tastic! 

Ray didn't even notice.

"Glad you aren’t weirded out. My boyfriend would be laughing at me right now."

Gerard froze with his jeans halfway up his thighs, his head snapping up, eyes almost popping out of his head.

" _Boyfriend_?!...you’re...you’re... _gay_?!"

He whispered the last word, knowing how unforgivingly homophobic much of the school could be. How was Ray so open about it? 

"Poly actually. My boyfriend has a girlfriend and she's mine too..."

Ray pulled his wallet out and showed a picture of him and two other people kissing his cheeks.

"This is Christa and this is Sam."

Gerard wasn’t sure what to say.

"You all look...happy."

He said quietly. He wished he could be that happy with someone...with Frank. 

"It's hard work and takes a lot of communication, but yeah...we are."

Ray sighed and put his wallet away, then carried on getting dressed.

"Gee!..."

The locker room door burst open and Frank ran in. He saw Gerard and ignored that fact that he was half undressed and grabbed his hips.

"Holy fuck, I heard those assholes talking about you! Are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere badly? Let me look at you."

Gerard tried to cover himself and pull away, the blush on his face spreading down his neck and over his usually pale chest.

"I’m fine Frank. Coach stopped them...I’m not hurt."

He knew that was a lie and that he would have some bruises from the towels at least, but he didn’t want Frank to worry...or see any more of him than he could now. Ray tried not to look amused as the shorter boy ran his hands all over any exposed part of Gerard. It was clear he cared a lot about him.

"Gerard is this your friend that you'll bring to the party?"

"Party?..."

Frank stopped feeling up Gerard and turned to the other boy.

"Hey I know you."

"You do?"

"Yeah we fucked once."

Gerard rolled his eyes, pulling away now that Frank's attention had been diverted. He grabbed his shirt and pulled it on, wondering in his head why Frank would ever bother with him, when he could be with someone like Ray. 

"Oh...yeah, well that was..."

Frank shook his head.

"Nah, it was all good. It was then and this is now."

Ray relaxed a little.

"Yeah it was. So how are you?"

"Still free and fucking, you?"

"Uh, in a relationship."

"Better you than me, man."

Frank laughed and then turned back to Gerard.

"Do I need to beat the shit out of someone again?"

Gerard gave Frank a blank look, then grabbed his faded hoodie.

"No Frank, you don’t."

He pulled on the hoodie, shoved his feet into his ratty Converse, then grabbed his bag and started toward the door. 

"Gerard wait up!"

Ray watched Frank run after the boy.

"I'll text you Gerard, okay?"

Ray waved as they both exited the locker room. He couldn't wait to tell Christa and Sam about this later today.

*

*

*

**"Are you sure Jim?"**

**"As sure as I'm standing here Bonnie. Just two capsules a day of this power weight loss pill can show you results in less than one week!"**

**"Wow! and it's all natural?"**

**"Yes and perfectly safe too."**

Gerard's nightmare had woken him up about an hour ago and he didn’t want to risk trying to sleep again. It was a little after three in the morning and he was sat on his bed watching infomercials on his laptop with his earbuds in so he didn’t wake up his dad. Most of these things were pointless and useless and didn’t really hold his attention. This one though...  
He watched with interest, waiting for the price and details of how to buy the pills. 

**"So where so we get these amazing and natural weight loss supplements Jim?"**

**"Well Bonnie, you can order them right here, right now on our website. There is also additional information about other supplements that you can use to enrich your life."**

**"Wow Jim, I'm going to check it out right now!"**

Gerard opened a new tab and typed in the website's name. His ancient laptop buffered for what felt like forever...then the site loaded. There were adverts for various supplements and links to other connected sites, and there were before and after pictures for the weight loss pills. The people in the after photos looked so happy and healthy. Gerard scrolled down a bit further and his heart dropped...he could never afford even one bottle of these things. Sighing, he went to close the tab, when a thought came to him. He made a note of what the pills were called, and opened another tab, searching to see if there was a cheaper alternative. 

Ten minutes of searching later, and Gerard had spent the small amount of money he had saved up in his bank, on a month's worth of diet pills that were basically the same thing as the ones on the infomercial, but that cost just a fraction of the price. He smiled as he closed the last two tabs, and returned to watching infomercials...ten minutes later, he was asleep with a smile on his lips.


	4. Party All the Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Frank?"
> 
> "Yeah babe, what's up?"
> 
> Gerard swallowed, looking down.
> 
> "Please don’t leave without me, Ok?..."
> 
> He barely whispered, twisting his hands in his lap before looking up.
> 
> "I mean when you meet someone. You won’t leave me there, right?"
> 
> "No, I promise I won't..."
> 
> Frank gave Gerard a kiss on the cheek.
> 
> "Now let's go and show these fools how to really party!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone.
> 
> Sorry it has taken so long for the next chapter. We should be more on time after this.
> 
> Please enjoy guys.

The last week of school flew by, and before Gerard knew what was happening, he was getting ready to go to his first, _and last_ high school party. Frank had said he was going to pick him up at 7, and it was now just ten minutes to. He was nervous and staring into his mirror at the tight black jeans and slightly baggy, faded Smashing Pumpkins hoodie he’d chosen to wear. Was it all too dark? Were his jeans too tight?...Would everyone laugh at him for how he looked?  
He sighed...maybe he just shouldn’t go. Frank would probably have just as much fun at the party if he stayed home anyway... _more_ probably. Just then there was a knock on his bedroom door and he looked over to see his dad smiling at him from the doorway.

"Oh, hey dad..."

He said flatly before looking back at the mirror.

"I’m not sure about this party. Maybe I should call Frank and tell him to go without me."

"Nonsense son, you know how the summer can get. You might find a job and take away time from your friends. This will be good for you."

Gerard sighed, looking himself up and down in the mirror again. He couldn’t wait til those pills came and he started loosing weight...he was so sick of being the "fat loser", as the jocks at school never tired of calling him.

"Do you think I look Ok in this?...my jeans aren’t too tight...are they?"

"Gee, you look perfect just the way you are, and you should not change for anyone but yourself..."

Donald kissed the top of his son's head at the same time a horn honked.

"That's your ride."

It was too late to change into sweats now, so Gerard sighed heavily, grabbing his wallet, keys and crappy cellphone.

"Guess you’re right dad. I won’t be late, Ok?"

"And if you are I know you will call."

Donald smiled and waved to his son as he left the room. Gerard took a deep breath, then headed downstairs and out the door. He waved to Frank as he trotted over to the older boy's car and climbed in.

"Hey Frank. So, what do people do at parties anyway?"

He asked with a touch of sarcasm as he fastened his seatbelt. 

"Drink, smoke, fuck...you know, the usual..."

Frank wiggled his eyebrows at Gerard and smirked. Gerard felt his cheeks heat up and he turned his head to look out the window. He’d never done _any_ of that before. Frank patted Gerard's thigh lightly, giving it a little squeeze.

"It's okay Gee, you don't have to do any of those things."

Gerard swallowed, looking down at Frank's hand.

"R-really?"

"Of course Gee, and I will beat the shit out of anyone that tries to make you."

Gerard looked up, wide eyed.

"You think someone would try to make me drink or smoke?!"

He didn’t bother to add the fuck part, cause no one would want to do _that_ with him. 

"Not while I'm around baby."

One more squeeze and smile and then Frank let go and started the car. Gerard squeezed his eyes shut...Frank hadn’t mentioned the fucking thing, clearly he didn’t believe Gerard would have that problem either. 

Ten minutes later, they arrived at the address Ray had given Gerard. The house was large and the area was quite expensive...and Gerard worried that he’d end up knocking over a priceless vase or something. He really wasn’t sure this was a good idea.

"Frank?"

He asked nervously as the other boy parked up next to a brand new convertible. 

"Yeah babe, what's up?"

Gerard swallowed, looking down.

"Please don’t leave without me, Ok?..."

He barely whispered, twisting his hands in his lap before looking up.

"I mean when you meet someone. You won’t leave me there, right?"

"No, I promise I won't..."

Frank gave Gerard a kiss on the cheek.

"Now let's go and show these fools how to really party!"

Gerard chuckled slightly.

"Well you’d have to show me first but yeah, let’s go...I guess."

Frank winked and giggled then got out of the car.

"Hey guys you made it!"

Ray came out of the house to greet them. Gerard smiled shyly.

"Yeah, hi Ray."

He said, moving to Frank’s side. 

"Looks like an awesome party!"

Frank was bouncing a bit now. He was getting into the vibe and the music.

"Yeah, well it is getting a little out of hand now and..."

"HEY FRO DUDE, WHERE DO YOU KEEP THE FIRST AID KIT?"

A loud shout came from one of the windows on the second floor. Ray looked up and freaked out.

"Pete! Why are you in my parent's room?!"

This guy, Pete, was leaning out the window pretty far.

"I WAS LOOKING FOR THE FIRST AID KIT CAUSE I CUT MY WHOOOOA!"

He leaned too far out and lost his balance.

"HOLY SHIT!"

Frank ran to the spot under the window and managed to catch Pete, knocking them both into the bushes. Gerard gasped, rushing forward with Ray right behind him.

"Frank?!...oh my God, are you ok?"

Frank was in the bush on his back with Pete in his lap and Frank clutching his hips tight. If Pete hadn't just fallen out of the window, someone would think something else was happening.

"Yeah, I'm good, this cutie weighs nothing."

"My hero!"

Pete turned around and kissed Frank.

"Pete you crazy asshole, you could have gotten seriously hurt...and Frank too!"

Ray was losing his mind. Gerard already knew where Frank was going to end up tonight...he didn’t need to actually _see_ it. He swallowed, looking away...he knew he shouldn’t have come. 

"I'm fine Ray really. You however should get checked out up here..."

Frank pointed to Pete's head.

"That wasn't very smart you know young lady."

"Well then maybe I should hang with you so you can stop me from doing anything else dangerous tonight."

Ray shook his head. He looked at Gerard and smiled.

"So, uh...welcome to my party?*

Gerard smiled weakly.

"Thank you for inviting us."

Ray put a hand out to pull Pete up and then Frank. Frank brushed himself off and moved back to Gerard, placing an arm around his waist.

"Oh...who's this?"

Frank smiled proudly, pulling Gerard closer.

"This is my very best friend Gerard. Gee, this is Pete."

Gerard smiled shyly, feeling a lot like a third wheel already...he hadn’t missed the "best friend" tag.

"Hi Pete."

He said quietly. 

"Hi Gee. So can I hang with you guys tonight?"

Pete put his hands in his pocket and had a hopeful look on his face.

"I'm okay with it. What about you Gee?"

Gerard shrugged.

"Sure."

He had seen Frank at work so many times before that he knew he and Pete would end the night together...there really was no point in trying to deny or prevent the inevitable. 

"Sweet!"

Pete bounced on his toes and Frank kissed Gerard's cheek.

"That's my Gee, always being considerate."

Gerard smiled weakly, looking down to hide his reddening cheeks in his hair. 

"So, shall we go in then?"

Ray led the three of them to the front door.

"Yeah!"

"Party!"

Gerard hummed slightly in agreement cause with every step he took, he felt more and more like this was a _really_ bad idea. Stepping inside, it was like a wall of sound hit them, and Gerard was pretty sure that if Frank’s arm wasn’t still around his waist, then he would’ve been knocked right off his feet by the volume alone...that’s if he hadn’t run away first. Frank was honestly the only think keeping him there.  
Strong smells of what Gerard assumed were alcohol and weed hit him straight after the sound and made him cough, his eyes watering a little as his head swam. He’d smelled both of those things on Frank after he’d been to parties before of course, but Gerard had never experienced this first hand and he already knew he wasn’t going to like it.

"Oh man, the nose knows!"

"I know right?"

Pete linked an arm with Frank as they both moved through the party with Gerard. They found the kitchen and filled up their red cups. Pete offered one to Gerard, but Frank pushed it away.

"Gee doesn't drink. He is too much of an innocent sweetheart."

Frank kissed Gerard's cheek again and then took a big gulp from his cup.

"I on the other hand am the complete..."

He let out a loud burp and giggled.

"...opposite."

Gerard frowned slightly and shook his head, reaching for the cup.

"No, I’ll try it."

Pete shrugged and handed Gerard the cup. Even though he took a small sip, the alcohol burned his throat and mouth since he wasn't used to it. Gerard dropped the cup and started to gag and cough. Frank grabbed him and rubbed his back.

"Easy Gee, easy. I told you that it was a bad idea."

Gerard looked up with watering eyes and red cheeks.

"I’m *cough* not a *cough* child, Frank."

"Of course not Gee, but you don't drink like Pete and I do, so of course it didn't go over well."

Frank looked over Pete who was drinking his first cup and then a second as the guys around him yelled "chug". Gerard looked too and knew there was no point in even trying. Pete was everything Gerard would never be...slim, gorgeous, popular and desirable. Gerard sighed and grabbed a bottle of Coke before sitting down on a chair in the corner to watch his first ever party from the sidelines. He opened the bottle and took a big mouthful, it tasted a bit funny, but after whatever had been in that red cup, he really didn’t care. 

_(time passes)_

"Hey Gee, where've ya been baby?"

A very drunk and high Frank flopped in Gerard's lap. He straddled him and threw his arms around his neck. Frank leaned in real close and whispered in Gerard's ear, his breath warm against the skin.

"I missed you."

Gerard blinked at him blearily...he wasn’t feeling all together focused and he didn’t know why. Maybe he was dehydrated. Maybe he just needed another bottle of Coke.

"You’re jrunk."

He mumbled, his mouth not quite cooperating with his brain. 

"Yes I am and...Gee, are you okay, your eyes look funny."

Frank grabbed Gerard's face and stared intently into his eyes. Gerard blinked slowly. Was it possible? Was Frank gonna kiss him?...Nah.

"'mmm Ok Frankie..."

He giggled slightly then dropped his voice like he was telling a secret.

"Y' know, I think my Coke's gone offff."

"Cokes, gone off?"

Gerard nodded as much as he could with Frank still holding his face.

"Yeah...it _taste_ funny."

Frank took the bottle and sniffed it.

"Hey Charlie! Is there anything in the Cokes?"

Gerard looked up and saw a very tall, thin white man with dreads in his hair and a ring through his nose...Charlie, apparently.

"Yah dude...I think Lacey dropped a tab in some of 'em."

Gerard wasn’t sure what a "tab" was exactly, but he had a feeling that it wasn’t good. 

"Are you shitting me?!"

Charlie put his hands up in defence.

"Woah man, chill. It’s just a little E...what’s your problem?"

"The problem is he's never even tried weed or a fucking cigarette!"

Frank turned from yelling at Charlie, back to Gerard, lowering his voice for him.

"Gee. Gee, come on, focus on me baby."

"Frankie..."

Gerard giggled, looking Frank straight in the eyes.

"You’re soooo pppretty."

Then he turned a little green, turned his head to the left and threw up all over some drunk guy's shoes before passing out cold. 

_(time passes)_

"Hey Gerard, how are you feeling?"

Ray sat down next to the bed Gerard was lying in. He placed a cold towel on his head.

"Urgh...did I eat something bad?...I feel like I ate lava."

"No, I'm sorry man. This girl that my friend brought laced the Cokes with tabs of acid."

Gerard slowly opened his eyes, blinking and squinting against what felt like the brightest light in the world...though in actuality, it was only a very dim bulb in a bedside lamp.

"Acid?... _that’s_ not good!..."

He turned his head to the right, groaning in discomfort.

"Where’s Frank?"

"He brought you in here and made sure no one came in while he made sure you didn't have a bad trip. Once you were completely asleep he locked the door so no one could come in."

Gerard tried to process that, though everything was still sort of fuzzy.

"And...and now?"

"I think he crashed in one of the rooms. Not sure which one."

"Oh..."

Gerard couldn’t help the touch of surprise in his voice, he’d really expected the other boy to say that Frank was with Pete.

"Ok then."

Ray smiled and removed the cloth from Gerard's head. Even though Gerard was older by a bit, he kind of felt like Ray's kid brother.

"Do you want something? Water or something small to eat? I know you didn't get anything at the party. Also I made sure the bathroom was free if you wanted to shower. Frank cleaned you up a bit, but you might want more."

"I...I just kinda want to go home. I don’t think parties are really my thing..."

Gerard sighed, looking down.

"I’m sorry."

"It's okay. Why don't you at least use the bathroom and I'll find Frank for you..."

Ray got up to leave.

"The bathroom is the the third door on the right."

Gerard nodded.

"Yeah, Ok."

He carefully pushed himself upright, swallowing back the sick feeling that settled in his stomach with every movement, then swung his legs slowly off the side of the bed and pushed up onto his feet using the corner of the nightstand for support. Once he was up and his balance was centred, he made his way slowly out of the room. Everything still seemed to have a slightly surreal feel to it, but Gerard had heard about the effects of Acid and knew it wouldn’t last forever. He held onto the wall as he headed for the bathroom, now, did Ray say the second or third door?

Reaching the second and seeing it open a crack, he used one hand to support himself against the frame, and the other to push the door open. It was _not_ the bathroom!  
There in the king size bed, cuddled up close with the blankets up over them while clothes lay in a mess all over the floor...were Frank and Pete, fast asleep. Now Gerard felt sick again.

With a small whimper, he closed the door and continued to the bathroom where he spent the next half hour emptying his guts into the toilet. Gerard decided not to mention what he’d seen to Frank, because that was just what Frank does, and Gerard really didn’t want to think about it too much. He wasn’t sure exactly how he got home that night, but he was pretty sure Frank had not been driving.

* * *

* * *

Gerard was so excited when the package arrived in the mail a few days after the party. He was glad that he was home alone while his mom was at work and his dad was at Walmart, as he really didn’t want to answer questions about what he’d bought online. He took the padded envelope up to his room and closed the door, then ripped it open. Inside was two bottles of pills, and a letter from the company. The letter thanked him for his purchase, gave instructions on how to take the pills...one of each, once a day in the morning...and a list of possible side effects in very small writing at the bottom. There was also a repeat order form with a discount code off you next order...though Gerard still wasn’t sure he’d have enough money saved by the time this first lot was finished.

It was a little before noon, so he figured it was ok to take the first pills right away. Frank was due over any minute for video games and movies, so Gerard quickly took one pill from each bottle and downed them with a swig of cold coffee from the mug on his nightstand. He grimaced at the temperature, but shrugged afterward as hey, coffee's coffee.

Just then, the doorbell rang and he knew it was probably Frank. He'd quickly hid the bottles at the back of his underwear drawer and headed downstairs to let Frank in.

_(time passes)_

That was two weeks ago now, and Gerard was actually pleased with the results. He had been taking the pills religiously every morning, then skipping breakfast, eating as little as he could get away with without arousing suspicion at lunch, then eating a small dinner with his dad in the evening. In the last two weeks, he’d lost an impressive 36lbs, and was now wearing a belt to hold up his jeans. He was still wearing his baggy hoodies as they covered him up and kept him warm, but they were feeling baggier than ever and he liked that.  
He’d noticed that he was a little more tired than usual, and even though it was now summer, he was feeling kinda chilly most of the time...but when he looked at the letter that came with the pills, those weren’t amongst the side effects listed, so he ignored it and carried on taking the pills every day.

He’d just spent the week with Frank, watching movies and hanging out...but now it was Saturday and he was just woken by his annoying alarm. Groaning, he hit his alarm and rolled over, pulling his blanket up over his head...just five more minutes wouldn’t hurt, right?...it wasn’t like he had school. It was two weeks into summer break and he had nowhere he needed to be...so why was his alarm even still set?

Suddenly his bedroom door opened and Frank was telling him he had to get up because of some...concert they were going to?...why didn’t he remember they had plans today?

"Ok Ok Frank, I’m getting up."

He groaned, making no effort to move out of his comfy nest of blankets. 

"It's four man, we got to get you dressed, grab food and get there when doors open at seven!..."

Frank went into Gerard's dresser and started pulling out clothing. 

"I also told Pete that we would meet him there too and he is bringing a few of his friends..."

Frank pulled jeans and a t-shirt out for Gerard and tossed them at him.

"Some guy whose name starts with A...Alfie or something and a Pat, and I think John or Joe?"

"That’s a...lot..."

Gerard said quietly, dropping the jeans as his fingers felt like ice. He bent to pick them up before going to his underwear draw and grabbing a new pair of black boxers. He shut the drawer and headed toward the bathroom to change.

"I’ll be out in a few. Could you go get me a coffee please Frankie?...I think I’m gonna need it."

"Got you babe."

Frank kissed Gerard's cheek. He went to say something else, but his phone rang.

"Dude! Yeah, he just woke up. No Way!"

Frank left for the kitchen. Gerard sighed and walked into the bathroom, closing the door with a quiet click. Putting his clothes down on the little wicker chair that was sat in the corner of the room, he turned on the shower and started to strip off the sweatpants and hoodie he’d slept in...and worn all day yesterday as well for that matter. He looked at himself in the mirror as the water heated up. He could see a definite improvement already and it made him smile a little. His stomach was almost flat, he actually had a waist now and his thighs weren’t rubbing together like before...and Ok sure, he looked like he hadn’t slept in a week, but he was headed in the right direction.  
He ignored how pale he looked cause he’d always been pale, and he ignored the dark circles under his eyes and the slight tremble in his hands in favour of concentrating on the good things instead. Deciding that he would hold off on checking his weight on the scales until he got home later, he turned and stepped under the hot spray.

Ten minutes later, after he’d scrubbed his body and even washed his hair, Gerard stood in front of the mirror again, brushing his teeth and trying to remember if he had anything _else_ planned with Frank that had slipped his mind. He couldn’t think of anything, but that didn’t mean they didn’t have other plans...he had been kind of forgetful lately. When he’d finished brushing his teeth, he quickly got dressed and ran his fingers through his damp hair...maybe he should get it cut, or maybe coloured? Shaking his head as his mind wandered again, Gerard left the bathroom and gasped in surprise to see Frank sat on his bed...for a second, he’d forgotten the other boy was even there. He laughed slightly to cover himself.

"Frank. You made me jump."

He put his sweatpants and hoodie into his hamper and started searching for his shoes.

"Well jump into my arms and we can fly on out of here."

Frank handed Gerard his coffee, perfectly made as he likes it. Gerard giggled slightly, taking the cup and drinking it all down in one go before putting the cup down to resume his search.

"Thank you Frankie. Now, if I could just find the other shoe that goes with this one..."

He trailed off, holding up one shoe for Frank to see. 

"I will never understand how you lose your shoes or how you can drink coffee that fast..."

Frank got on his knees in front of Gerard.

"Your foot Cinderella?"

Gerard rolled his eyes and lifted one foot, nearly falling and having to grab Frank’s shoulders to stop himself from tipping over.

"Sorry..."

He mumbled, feeling his cheeks heat up. Frank chuckled and picked up Gerard's foot, tickling it lightly. Gerard squeaked, pulling his foot back and instantly losing his balance. His right knee gave out under him and he suddenly found himself sat on Frank’s lap, their noses less than an inch apart.

"Sorry."

He mumbled again, swallowing heavily and praying his cock didn’t take notice of their current position as his face felt like it was on fire. 

"Well hello dare wabbit."

"H-hi."

Gerard giggled self-consciously, trying to get off of Frank as quickly as possible before he squashed him under his weight...he’d lost a lot so far, but not enough to be comfortable sitting on someone. Sitting on the floor was probably safer for putting his shoes on anyway. Frank grabbed Gerard's foot. He grabbed the shoe and placed it on Gerard's foot. Gerard smiled shyly.

"I can do that Frank. You don’t have to."

"I want to. I like spoiling my best friend."

Frank tied it tight but not too tight. Gerard’s heart wasn’t sure whether to fly because Frank cared for him, or break in half because of the "friend" tag. He smiled softly, he was used to hiding his feelings by this point.

"Thank you."

Frank stood up then practically lifted Gerard into the air.

"Man Gee, you're light as a feather. I gotta take you out to eat more before you waste away to nothing on me."

Gerard frowned slightly as he turned away, pushing Frank’s hands off and moving to grab his keys, phone and wallet...he didn’t think Frank would be one to make fun of him.

"Ok let’s go."

He muttered, heading for the door. 

"What did I say?"

Frank trailed after Gerard as he left the house, closing the door behind him.

_(time passes)_

"OKAY FUCKERS, WE'RE GONNA TAKE A LITTLE BREAK AND THEN BE BACK WITH MORE SHIT TO BREAK STUFF TO!"

The crowd roared as the band left the stage. Frank, Pete, and Joe moved from the pit to find where Gerard, Patrick and Andy were. All three hung back cause the crowd was too intense.

"HOLY FUCK THAT WAS AMAZING!"

"I KNOW RIGHT?"

A very sweaty Frank hugged Gerard, shoving his face in his neck and breathing him in.

"You smell so good Gee."

Gerard giggled, pushing Frank off so it wasn’t too obvious that his cock just twitched from the attention.

"Ew Frankie, you’re all sticky."

"You know you love it..."

Frank pushed his face in more and nipped at Gerard's skin. He let out a possessive growl.

"Mine."

Gerard’s eyes widened.

"Bathroom!"

He squawked embarrassingly before pushing Frank off and running away into the nearest men's room to hide the boner that was starting to grow quickly in his pants. 

"What did you do to him Frank?"

Andy helped Frank up, but Frank stumbled into Pete instead. He did the same move to Pete as he did to Gerard, but Pete didn't push him away. They ended up against the wall making out and Patrick just rolled his eyes.

"Let's go get a drink and leave the love birds alone."

Andy and Joe agreed and went to the bar.

_(time passes)_

As much as Frank always liked to point out that Gerard was an "innocent little flower", or something similar...that didn’t mean that the younger boy had never used his hand to rid himself of a problem or two. He had just finished "ridding himself" of said Frank induced problem, when he felt his head start to spin. He knew for a 100% certain _fact_ , that his drinks were untampered with tonight, as he had bought unopened bottles at the bar and never once left them unattended...so his sudden dizzy spell was obviously something else.  
He thought for a second or two that he’d just cum too hard, or that it was just too damn hot in the club...but the dizziness was getting worse instead of going away as he splashed cold water on his face at the sink. He looked into the dirty and cracked mirror and saw through wavering vision that he looked like a vampire had just sucked every last drop of blood right out of him...something was clearly not right.

Taking a couple of deep, shaky breaths...he turned and headed back out into the club. He _had_ to find Frank.  
Stumbling through the crowd, bumping into strangers and hoping that no one would take exception and decide to beat him up for spilling their drink, Gerard headed back toward where he thought he’d last seen Frank. His head was pounding and spinning and, if he'd had more than the dozen or so Nachos in his stomach that he couldn’t get out of eating with Frank earlier, then he would also have probably been heaving too. He bumped into a guy that looked like he could bench press a truck, but was luckily in a good mood and let him go on his way, then stumbled on a half dozen more steps before his eyes rolled back and he fell face first onto the ground just a few steps away from his goal, passing out with a weak whimper on his lips.


	5. Care Less Ness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'll sit by the window thanks."
> 
> Bert walked down the aisle and sat down.
> 
> "Hi, I'm Bert."
> 
> Gerard looked up, startled.
> 
> "Err, hi. I’m G-Gerard."
> 
> "Hi Gee, oh can I call you that?"
> 
> Gerard bit his lip, feeling heat flare in his cheeks.
> 
> "Uh, yeah...sure..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> Well it has been a while hasn't it and we left you on a nasty cliffhanger too, but here you go and uh...you ain't gonna like Frank in this chapter. @~@
> 
> Also we introduce Bert. He isn't exactly a bad guy, but...well you will see in the next few chapters...
> 
> Please enjoy guys.

As Gerard woke up, it dawned on him before he’d even opened his eyes that he wasn’t in his own bed...it just felt wrong. He was laying on his back, propped up slightly on a slightly too firm mattress with a lumpy pillow behind his head. Through his closed lids, he could tell that the room was brightly lit...so _definitely_ not his room. He felt cold, and wondered where the blankets were. He opened his eyes then slammed them shut again as he felt blinded by the bright white room. He groaned, turning his head to the left before trying again. He slowly, tentatively opened his eyes again, but regretted it almost instantly when he saw that there was a needle sticking out of the inside of his elbow...he hated needles. He whimpered and turned his head the other way...coming face to face with his dad, who was sat on an uncomfortable looking plastic chair beside his hospital bed, smiling sadly at him.

"D-dad?...what...what happened?"

"That's what I would like to know Gerard. Would you care to tell me what's been going on...before I tell you what the doctor told me?"

Don was usually not cross with his oldest, but this time his worry for his health had been worse than when Gerard was a boy and he had contracted a terrible bout of Pneumonia. Gerard frowned slightly, he didn’t understand. His head felt fuzzy still.

"I was...I was out with Frank and...and I didn’t feel well. I...I don’t really remember what happened."

"That's not what I mean Gerard..."

Don softened and put his hand on Gerard's arm.

"Son, what has been going on with your weight?"

"My weight?..."

Gerard tilted his head slightly.

"Well I...I've lost a bit, I guess."

"Gerard...you lost 20 pounds in less than two months. That is not healthy son."

"But...I needed to."

"Why Son? Gerard you were a fine weight. You were in the right percentile for your age and height. Who told you that you needed to lose that weight?"

"Everyone...kids at s-school."

Gerard sniffed, closing his eyes.

"Gerard, those people don't matter. Do you understand how sick you got yourself with this sudden weight loss? You need to go to therapy to fix everything."

Gerard opened his eyes and blinked disbelievingly at his dad.

" _Therapy?!...really_ dad? I...I’m not mad."

"Not that kind of therapy son, hospitalisation."

"What?!...no dad I..."

Gerard’s breath and the machine next to his bed that had been beeping slow and steady, started to speed up as he began to panic.

"No I...I don’t w-want to dad...please?...please dad, I wanna go home. Please? Can I go home with you dad?...please?"

"You have to go in for at least a week. You'll be evaluated and then they'll decide if you'll be an in patient or in out patient therapy."

"But I...I just w-wanted to be...normal."

Gerard’s voice dropped to little more than a whisper as tears slipped from his eyes. 

"You _are_ normal Gerard. This is something many girls and boys go through. You'll be fine and get better with time."

"Where’s Frank?"

Gerard really wanted to change the subject. Hopefully his dad would forget about having him committed...or whatever.

"Frank? I haven’t seen him. I can bring you your phone though and you can call him."

Gerard frowned.

"How long have I been here?"

Don looked away for a moment. He couldn't meet his son's eyes. 

"Dad?..."

Gerard heard a noise outside in the hallway and looked toward the open door, his eyes were drawn to the patients board on the wall above the nurses desk...and the date written in red pen at the top.

"Oh my G...a _week_ dad...really?"

"You wouldn't wake up. You had to be fed intravenously. We were afraid..."

"I’m awake now dad..."

Gerard assured softly, hearing his father's voice crack with emotion.

"But has Frank not been here at all?" 

"No, sorry I haven't seen him and I've been here every day. Do you want your phone to call him?"

"Please."

Gerard nodded, though he was worried that Frank wouldn’t answer. Maybe Frank had figured out what a waste of time Gerard really was, and decided to cut his losses and leave. Don went and grabbed the boy's phone from his jacket pocket and handed it to him.

"I kept it charged for you."

Gerard gave a small grateful smile as he accepted the phone. He turned it on and was disappointed, but unsurprised to see no messages or missed calls. He sighed and went to Frank’s contact. He let his finger hover over the call button for a moment...then pressed it, closing his eyes and putting the phone to his ear. He listened to it ring. 

"Yo Gee, sup?"

Gerard swallowed at hearing Frank’s voice...sounding just like he always does.

"Err...hi Frankie. How’re...you?"

"I'm good Gee, real good."

Frank sounded mellow and distant. Gerard frowned slightly, dropping his voice and turning his face away so his dad wouldn’t hear.

"Frank, are you... _stoned_?"

"Oh yeah baby, I am so gone right now."

There was giggling in the background. Gerard sighed.

"Where are you?"

"Chilling at Pete's house. Where are you?"

"Where am...?!...screw you Frank!"

Gerard hung up as forcefully as you can with a cellphone, then threw the phone across the room as tears started to run down his cheeks...he should’ve known Frank didn’t even care. 

"Gerard what's wrong?..."

Don looked at his son with concern, he never acted like this before. Gerard shook his head, covering his face with his arm. He didn’t want to talk. 

"Gerard? Gerard talk to me please?"

"Excuse me?..."

Don looked up and saw the nurse.

"Sorry to interrupt, but the doctor wanted to know if you have a plan set for your son?"

Don looked away from the nurse to his son.

"I think we are going to do in patient."

Gerard whimpered behind his arm, but what was the point in arguing when his dad had already decided his fate? Besides, what did he have to go home for anyway? 

"Alright, well then let's get the papers to set everything in motion. Don't worry Gerard, you are going to be so much better when you get out."

The nurse gave a reassuring smile and then left. Don turned to his son.

"I'm going to pack some things for you at home and bring them tomorrow for when you move."

Gerard didn’t answer, what was there for him to say? Don kissed Gerard's head and then left. After a few moments another nurse showed up.

"It's dinner time. Do you want to try and eat?..."

Gerard shook his head, he didn’t want food, he just wanted to be left alone. 

"Alright then, I'll be back with an IV bag."

She turned and left. Gerard shivered, curling up onto his side with his knees up to his chest, trying to ignore and not disturb the needle in his arm. If Frank were there he would probably try to distract him...but Frank _wasn’t_ there, and that hurt more than Gerard could describe. He closed his eyes as tears slid down his pale face, soaking the pillow beneath his head. 

_Time Stamp: Last Week In May_

"Welcome home son..."

Don enveloped his son in a big hug. He had seen him on and off for the past month, but now he was home and would sleep in his own bed. He was surprised that Gerard needed a month to start recovering from his eating disorder. He was a good weight now and learned to balance eating and exercise to maintain it. It would be a battle with more slides than steps up the mountain, but Don was confident in his son. 

"I hope you don't mind, but I redid your room while you were gone. Paint, new shelving, even a new bed."

Gerard gave a hesitant smile...he was trying.

"As long as it’s not pink, I think I’ll live."

"I think you'll like it. Go ahead and check it out while I bring in you bags."

"Ok dad."

Gerard turned and headed slowly up the stairs. He was happy to be home, but a little disappointed that his mom hadn’t taken the morning off work to greet him...he’d barely seen her at all this month, she’d only visited him three times, and seemed eager to leave from the moment she arrived. He was disappointed that she wasn’t here now, but hardly surprised.  
Reaching his room, Gerard opened the door and was actually pleased with what he saw...he was pretty sure his mom had hated the colours when his dad picked them. Gerard loved them.

"You like it son?"

Don appeared behind him with his bags. Gerard gave his dad a tired smile.

"Yeah, it’s great. Thanks dad..."

He nodded toward one of the jet black walls.

"Bet mom hated that."

"It isn't _for_ her."

"But she did hate it, didn’t she. Is she gonna be home later?"

"I guess. She's been staying late for the past month at work."

Don's words didn't match his eyes. Gerard sighed, laying a hand lightly on his dad’s arm.

"Longer than a month. I’m sorry if I made things worse though."

"You didn't and it's fine son."

Gerard sighed again, he knew it wasn’t fine.

"I think I’m going to have a nap, is that ok dad?"

"Sure son, welcome home again."

Don kissed Gerard on the head once more and then left. Gerard thought about unpacking his bags, but figured that could wait until later. He toed off his sneakers, stripped off the sweatpants his dad had brought him to come home in, then slipped under the covers of his new bed. The sheets were cool and fresh and still had creases in them from being folded and in packaging, but even that newness wasn’t enough to hold Gerard’s attention for more than a minute, and soon he was fast asleep.

_Time Stamp: Second Week of June_

"Alright class, I know this is unusual in June, but we have a new student. Everyone this is Robert McCracken."

Gerard looked up from the book he was half heartedly reading and saw a skinny boy with straggly hair and a shy smile. The boy looked harmless enough, and had blue eyes that looked pretty when they caught the light. Gerard knew that there were only two empty seats in the room, one next to him...cause why would anyone want to sit with _him_?...and the other next to Julie Newman, one of the prettiest girls in the school. He could guess where the newcomer would choose to sit. He looked back down at his book. 

"Hi, um...I actually like Bert please. My dad moves a lot so I'm used to starting new schools. Uh...I like comics, rock music, and...yeah."

Wait, did he say comics? Gerard’s head snapped up. The new guy was kinda cute, and into comics?...shame he was 99% for certain going to sit with Julie, and end up being a homophobic douche.

"Alright, well there are two seats free so choose one."

Julie ran a hand through her hair and batted her eyelids. Bert smiled at her and then looked over at the other seat. Gerard offered a timid half smile, then looked down, giving Bert an out so he wouldn’t feel bad about choosing the blonde over him...as Gerard was sure he would. 

"I'll sit by the window thanks."

Bert walked down the aisle and sat down.

"Hi, I'm Bert."

Gerard looked up, startled.

"Err, hi. I’m G-Gerard."

"Hi Gee, oh can I call you that?"

Gerard bit his lip, feeling heat flare in his cheeks.

"Uh, yeah...sure..."

He glanced over to a rather pissed off looking Julie, then back at Bert.

"Can I ask...why did you sit with me?"

"Who said I sat near you? Perhaps I prefer a window seat."

Bert spoke with a straight face, but then winked. Gerard gave a tiny shy smile, then looked down, tucking his hair behind his ear.

"You...you like comics?"

He asked tentatively. 

"Yeah, but I'm a Marvel so you better watch out if you're a DC cause I will argue how much Superman sucks all day."

Bert made two fists and jabbed playfully at Gerard. Gerard swallowed nervously, not sure whether the other boy was joking or not. He wasn’t good at reading social cues, except for Frank’s...he internally cursed himself for thinking of Frank.

"I...I like Batman, but I’m not a fan of Superman."

"So you _are_ a DC. Well I'll let it slide cause Batman is pretty kick ass."

Bert smiled at him and then the teacher called for their attention. Gerard wasn’t sure, but he thought he might’ve just made a friend...miracles really _do_ happen. 

*

*

*

"Hey Gee wait up..."

The bell rang and everyone was out of the class pretty quickly, but Bert caught up to Gerard.

"What do you have next?"

"Oh um...art. You?"

"Gym. Want to ditch with me?"

Gerard bit his lip, at least he wouldn’t have to sit next to Frank and think about how much they seemed to be slipping apart.

"Sure, why not. Where do you wanna go?"

"Do you smoke?"

Gerard shook his head.

"No, I can go with you if _you_ want to though."

Bert smiled and led Gerard out behind the auto garage. It was closed cause there was no class this period. Bert pulled out the joint and lit it. Gerard’s eyes widened.

"Oh!...you meant _smoke_...Ok then."

He should’ve recognised the smell on the other boy’s clothes and hair...like Frank. 

"Let me know if you change your mind and want a hit."

Bert slipped down to the ground using the building for leverage. He pat the ground next to him. Gerard looked around to make sure no one was watching, then sat himself down next to his new friend. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, then Gerard thought of something to say.

"I’ve never smoked before...but I had acid once..."

He looked down at his hands.

"...by mistake."

He whispered the last part. 

"I don't like the stuff. It makes you do stupid shit. Weed just mellows you out, but you are still in control, you just kind of want to do things nice and slow..."

Bert looked at the boy next to him. He had nice eyes. They were innocent and begging to be taught. 

"Here, come here."

Gerard swallowed, considered, then shuffled closer. Bert gave another gentle smile as he took a hit and then gently, so not to startle the timid boy, touched the back of his neck, drawing his face closer and then barely touching his lips to Gerard's, let the smoke drift into the other's mouth. Gerard’s eyes went wide and he sucked in a breath instinctively...then choked and started coughing, his eyes watering as he turned his head away. Shit, now Bert would think he was a loser too. 

"Easy baby easy. Don't try to take it all in at once. Breathe in normally."

Bert moved his hand from Gerard's neck to his back. He rubbed it murmuring soothing words. Gerard coughed a couple more times, then tried to slow his breathing. He turned red eyes to the other boy.

"I’m sorry..."

He said quietly, looking down sadly.

"I guess Frank was right when he said I was too innocent."

"And what's wrong with that? Being innocent means that when you learn something, it will mean so much more. I don't know who this Frank guy is, but he had no right to make you feel bad for being innocent..."

Bert reached out and touched Gerard's face, wiping away the tears.

"Wanna try again?"

"Uh...yeah, ok."

Gerard stuttered softly, his cheeks pinking at Bert's gentle touch. Bert's eyes crinkled at the corners as they matched his smile. He took another drag and then leaned in touching Gerard's lips once again and breathing the smoke out softly into the boy's mouth. This time Gerard tried to breathe in normally, he still coughed slightly when their lips parted, but it wasn’t as bad as before, and he actually kind of liked it. He supposed that had been his first _almost_ kiss. He smiled shyly at Bert, nodding slightly. 

"See I knew you could do it..."

Bert pulled away and then moved his hand from Gerard's face. He slipped it down to touch the boy's hand and clasped it. He urged the boy to lean in and rest on his shoulder. Bert closed his eyes and sighed.

"It's a nice day isn't it?"

Gerard smiled as he relaxed, starting to feel loose and happy.

"The best."

He murmured quietly.

They sat there for the rest of the period till the bell rang. Bert helped Gerard up and the giggle that he let out made Bert smile even more.

"So how about coming over to my house today? We can watch a movie, play a game, you can eat over too."

"Oh um...I’ll have to call my dad. He worries."

Gerard said self consciously, digging his cellphone from his pocket. He wasn’t embarrassed by his phone now, not since Ray gave him this one, but he worried that Bert would think he was just a kid cause he had to call his dad. 

"No that's cool. My dad can talk to yours if you think it would help."

Gerard shook his head, tapping on his dad’s number and then pressing call. It rang just twice before his dad answered. 

"Hey son, everything alright?"

"Yeah, hi dad. Um, is it ok if I go to my friend Bert's house after school today for food?"

"Sure, it's nice to see you making friends. Just give me his parent's number."

"Dad..."

Gerard whined slightly, turning away from Bert as he felt his face heat up.

"I’m 17 dad, not 7."

"Yes, but you are my only...now. Forgive me for being a little over protecrive."

They didn't talk about Mikey much anymore. It hurt too much. Gerard felt bad now.

"I know dad...sorry..."

He said quietly before turning to look at Bert.

"Can I give my dad your dad's number please?" 

"Sure."

Bert rattled off his dad's number. Gerard nodded, then repeated the number to his dad, looking to Bert for confirmation that he'd gotten it right, and getting a nod.

"Ok dad...so I’ll see you later then?"

"Sure son. Love you."

"Love you too dad..."

Gerard hung up, his cheeks burning as he looked back at Bert, smiling shyly.

"He said it’s ok."

"Awesome, so I'll meet you at the front after last period then..."

Bert looked at the joint, which had one more hit in it.

"Wanna share it?"

"Oh um, yeah...ok."

Bert grinned and placed the joint in his mouth. He sucked in the tainted smoke and then beckoned Gerard to him. Gerard smiled nervously, then leaned in. Bert gently touched Gerard's face and this time placed his lips right on Gerard's and released the smoke slowly. Gerard breathed in normally this time, but still coughed a little...but he didn’t mind too much, he kinda liked it. He kinda liked Bert too. Once the smoke was all gone, Bert didn't move. Gerard made a small, questioning sound in the back of his throat...was Bert actually _kissing_ him now? Bert's eyes were closed. Gerard whined slightly and pulled back, swallowing and sucking his lower lip in between his teeth.

"We should uh...go to class?"

He suggested hesitantly, not knowing what else to do or say. 

"Wait till the bell rings."

Bert pulled the boy next to him and rested his head on his shoulder. Gerard nodded and relaxed, he guessed they had time. After a few minutes of quiet, he plucked up the courage to ask.

"Was that...a kiss?"

He whispered, eyes on the floor. 

"It was what you wanted it to be."

Gerard swallowed, looking up.

"What did… _you_ want it to be?"

Bert smiled and leaned in again.

"What do you think?"

Gerard smiled softly as his cheeks pinked.

"No one ever...I mean Frank did, but not like that...I mean on the cheek like a friend and he doesn’t see me like that and..."

He giggled self consciously, chewing his lower lip for a moment and looking down at his hands.

"I l-liked you doing that. You could...you could do it again, if you want?"

Bert didn't know who this Frank guy was, but anyone who didn't want this boy was crazy in his book.

"Yeah, I would like to."

Bert leaned in again and kissed Gerard properly this time. The bell rang, but neither boy moved.


	6. Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh, err hi. I was just coming to tell you lunch is ready."
> 
> He said with a nervous smile. Tony looked at the table and then at the boy. He grinned.
> 
> "It looks good. Of course you look good too. Can I eat you for lunch darlin'?"
> 
> Gerard swallowed, his eyes going big as saucers as he involuntarily took a step back. He glanced toward the front door, hoping that Bert would come in then...he didn’t. Gerard let out a nervous giggle.
> 
> "I’m uh...I’m not on the m-menu. Sorry."
> 
> "Maybe not for lunch, but dessert for sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> So last chapter we introduced Bert which we could hear the groans till he treated Gerard nicer than Frank, but is there motive behind it? @~@
> 
> Please enjoy guys.

_***Time Stamp: The End of June***_

Frank was in town heading up to the supermarket. Pete had stayed over and they had smoked up and fucked all night so they woke up starving. They went to the diner in the morning and ate half the breakfast menu, but now they were hungry again so on the promise of one of Pete's amazing rim jobs, Frank was on his way to get some provisions for them. He was thumbing through his play list when he ran into someone...literally. Frank remained standing, but he knocked whoever he hit on their ass.

"Are you alright Gee?"

Frank looked down and saw Gerard on the sidewalk. A boy with long black hair was crouched down next to him.

"Hey hey Gee! Long time no see!..."

Before the other boy could help Gerard up, Frank had leaned down and picked Gerard completely off the ground and swung him into the air.

"Missed you! Where you been?"

"Frank?!..."

Gerard gasped in surprise.

"Put me down you idiot."

Frank laughed as Gerard got flustered. He loved these moments.

"Okay okay."

Gerard rolled his eyes and huffed as Frank put him back on his feet.

"It’s not funny Frank..."

He crossed his arms over his chest.

"I’m not a toy you can just pick up and play with whenever you want you know."

"Hey whoa, what's with the harsh vibes Gee? Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Hey Gee, do you know this guy?"

Bert put a protective arm around Gerard's waist. Gerard looked between the other two men, his eyes ending on Bert with a smile.

"Bert, this is Frank..."

He looked back at Frank.

"Frank, this is my _boyfriend_ , Bert."

"Boyfriend?"

"Yeah man, uh nice to meet you."

Frank was a little surprised. Gerard never had a boyfriend before. Man he did miss a lot.

"That's cool man, nice to meet you. Actually I am on a munchie run for _my_ boyfriend."

Gerard choked in shock.

"You don’t _do_ boyfriends Frank..."

Then his shock turned to sadness as his eyes fell to the ground and his voice went quiet.

"He must be very special."

Gerard wished that Frank thought _he_ was that special, but sadly it was apparently never gonna happen. 

"Yeah I guess. Well he's funny and a good fuck so that counts for something..."

Bert was shocked how the boy was talking to Gerard, but Gerard didn't seem to be bothered by how he talked, just what he said.

"Not that you aren't funny Gee, in fact you are funnier than Pete cause you make me laugh when I ain't high too and no one can do that. Plus you are a good cuddler. Pete's too bony."

Gerard shrugged, not looking up...it was a while now since they cuddled and he missed it so much.

"Well as long as you’re happy Frank..."

He lifted his eyes up to look at Bert pleadingly.

"So we should get going...right?"

"Yeah, nice to meet you man."

"You too. Hey Gee, call me and we'll hang out some time."

Gerard fought not to roll his eyes and sigh, Frank was never free to "hang out" these days.

"Sure Frank, see ya."

He pulled on Bert’s arm, dragging him away. He still loved Frank and he was still _in love_ with Frank...but it just hurt too much. Frank watched them go as his phone rang. He looked at the ID and then put it back in his pocket and kept going toward the store.

*

*

*

Bert and Gerard were lying in Gerard's back yard. Bert had placed dandelions in Gerard's hair.

"Hey Gee, my family is going away this weekend after the 4th and I was wondering if you wanted to go with us?"

"Oh um, where are you going?"

"We have a cabin in the mountains and we just relax for the week, fish, hike, cook out and mostly stay away from civilisation. It's really fun and we have a camp fire, make smores, and tell ghost stories!"

Gerard smiled, that sounded like the trips he used to go on with Frank.

"Yeah, sounds good. I’ll have to check with my dad of course."

Bert chuckled.

"I had a feeling that you would say that so my dad already talked to your dad and he said yes."

Gerard grinned wide.

"Really?...Ok then."

"So tomorrow after school my dad will pick us up. You don't even need to bring anything with you cause we have everything! Oh and don't bother to bring your phone cause there's no WiFi or reception, but don't worry, we have a land line so we aren't isolated or anything crazy like that."

Gerard frowned slightly.

"I think I might bring my cell anyway, I’ve got some games on there that don’t need WiFi."

"I mean you can, but we will be playing board games and making cookies! Come on Gee, won't it be nice to get away from the electronics and just have an good old fashion time?"

"Yeah, I guess. I like board games..."

Gerard sighed, then smiled softly, nodding.

"Ok, I’ll leave my phone behind."

Bert smiled and leaned in close to Gerard.

"And we will have more time together."

He rubbed noses with Gerard and kissed him softly. Gerard smiled, relaxing into the kiss and letting his worries drift away for a while. 

*

*

*

"I'm so sorry about this son..."

Donald was slipping on his coat. It may be summer, but the nights were still a bit chilly.

"Your mom said she would be home, but she's..."

Donald sighed.

"Anyway, I will see you when you get home right?"

Gerard sighed.

"Ok dad. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine."

"There is a surprise for you in the freezer, just save me a piece..."

Donald hugged his son and kissed his cheek.

"Just remember Gee, you are every bit as good as Mikey is...if not better cause you have a heart of gold."

"So does Mikey dad, he just hides it well..."

He looked down at his mismatched socks and mumbled.

"...like mom."

Donald ruffled Gerard's hair.

"You watch son, one day the world will know what an amazing boy you are, just like I do."

Donald grabbed his coffee thermos and was out the door. Gerard sighed, there was only one person he wanted to see him like that, but apparently Frank had the amazing Pete now. He sighed again and decided on an early night...it wasn’t like his mom would be coming home anyway.

*

*

*

"Well here we are Gee, what do you think?"

Gerard looked at the wooden cabin, swallowing slightly.

"It looks...rustic."

"I know right?"

"Okay you two, let's get everything in before we lose the light."

Bert's dad was a rough looking man with a full beard. He was stocky and looked like he could break a tree in half. Bert's brother was a smaller version of this, but with a baby face and more visible muscle. Tony was carrying a load of firewood to the door. He set it down in the holder on the porch.

"There, that should keep it up for the whole time."

"Is there anything I can do to help, sir?"

Gerard asked politely, just like his dad taught him to be. 

"Nah, boy like you can't really lift nothin'. Why don't you go check the kitchen and whip up some sandwiches for us."

"Good idea Dad, he looks like a woman so make him do their work."

"Hush up boy and get to the basement and make sure we are set up."

Gerard swallowed, looking at Bert nervously...he had a bad feeling about this. 

"Just ignore Tony, he can't help if he got the _'I'm a dick'_ gene."

Gerard giggled uncomfortably.

"So, should I make sandwiches then?"

"It would be nice baby. You and I only need one, but dad and Tony eat four. Everything is in the fridge for you."

Bert kissed Gerard's cheek. Gerard smiled softly, his cheeks pinking at the pet name and the kiss.

"Ok, I’m on it. Does anyone want a drink too?"

"Beer."

Both Tony and his dad spoke at the same time.

"I'll share a soda with you Gee."

Gerard nodded.

"Ok. Should I bring the sandwiches out, or come get you when they’re done?"

"Come and get me baby."

Gerard blushed again, nodding before heading into the kitchen. It was smallish and as basic as he had imagined, and mostly wood like the rest of the place, but there was a stove and a fridge that he presumed were run by a generator, and when he opened the fridge he saw it was half full of beer and half full of cold cuts and other sandwich fixings. There was a clear fronted bread box on the counter with two large loaves of crusty bread, one white and one whole grain, and a six pack of sodas left out to get warm. 

Gerard squeezed the sodas into the fridge then shut the door and went to the sink to wash his hands. It was one of those huge old deep white basins that stuck out further than the counters on either side of it and there were brass fixtures over the top. Gerard smiled, he always liked this kind of sink, he wasn’t sure why though. He washed his hands thoroughly, then set to making the sandwiches. He made four each for Mr. McCracken and Tony, and one each for Bert and himself. He made them with thick slices of whole grain bread and filled them with cold cuts, lettuce, onions and tomatoes. He put less of everything in his, but it was still big enough that his dad would be proud of him.

Once he’d finished and placed all the sandwiches on plates he’d found in the cupboard...after giving the plates a good wash of course...he put the plates on the kitchen table along with two cans of beer and a can of still slightly warm soda, then went to find Bert. Just as he walked out of the kitchen, Tony was walking in through the front door.

"Oh, err hi. I was just coming to tell you lunch is ready."

He said with a nervous smile. Tony looked at the table and then at the boy. He grinned.

"It looks good. Of course you look good too. Can I eat you for lunch darlin'?"

Gerard swallowed, his eyes going big as saucers as he involuntarily took a step back. He glanced toward the front door, hoping that Bert would come in then...he didn’t. Gerard let out a nervous giggle.

"I’m uh...I’m not on the m-menu. Sorry."

"Maybe not for lunch, but dessert for sure."

Tony started to advance at Gerard.

"Tony!"

Bert's dad came in.

"Food's ready he said."

"Go wash up then like I said to..."

Tony left grumbling. Bert's dad looked at the frightened boy.

"Sorry about that son. Tony is at the age where he is a little confused."

Gerard swallowed.

"I..."

He didn’t know what to say and was glad when he saw Bert enter the cabin.

"Everything okay Dad?"

"Sure son everything is fine."

Bert crossed to Gerard.

"You good baby?"

"Y-yeah..."

Gerard mumbled.

"I’m ok."

Bert didn't believe him, but he smiled.

"Okay, let's eat then."

Gerard sat as close to Bert as he could, and as far from Tony. He kept his eyes on the table and nibbled half heartedly at his sandwich...he’d kind of lost his appetite now. 

"Ugh, what is this shit?"

Tony opened his sandwich and pulled out the lettuce, tomato, and onion.

"Do I look like a fucking rabbit to you? Men don't eat shit like that."

Gerard swallowed, looking down...he really wished his dad had said no to him coming now.

"Sorry."

He said in a small voice, feeling tears prick his eyes. 

"Shut up Tony and eat the fucking sandwich..."

Gerard watched Bert's dad take a bite and smile.

"This is really good Gerard. You used just the right amount of mayo."

"Th-thank you sir."

Gerard said, letting a small smile touch his lips again. Tony was eating, but watching the boy as he nibbled on his sandwich and talked to his dad and his little brother. 

"So Gerard, what are your plans for the future?"

"Oh uh..."

Gerard swallowed a bite of his sandwich before continuing.

"Well I’m planning to go to art college when I graduate. I want to be a graphic artist, like do artwork for books or maybe movies and stuff."

"Art school? Are you serious? You can't make money drawing pictures..."

Tony had polished off two of his sandwiches and started the third.

"I mean..."

He took a big bite and spoke with his mouth full.

"It's clear you don't really have any skills other than a wife, but maybe you have some...hidden talents you haven't found yet?"

Gerard frowned, looking down.

"Lots of people make money with art."

He muttered quietly. He was pretty sure he was never going to like the older boy...ever. 

"Yeah? Well I know a kind of art that lots of people make money with. Bet you'd be good at it too."

The older boy sneered. Gerard looked up questioningly...he didn’t get it. 

"Well I think it's a fine choice for a career..."

Bert's dad got up and took his plate in the kitchen.

"Right, well let's get a fire going. Get's colder in the moutains than in the valley at night. Then we'll play some games."

Tony got up and brought his plate to his dad. He leaned in so the water masked his voice.

"When?"

"Tonight."


End file.
